Questions, questions, questions!  I never realized that my life as a Mom would be so full of questions.  Can I have a snack?  Can I play Nintendo?  Can I have a sleepover?   Chicken again?  Can we DoorDash dinner?  Why are you so mean?  

Yet the ability to answer the questions of my children along with building into them responsibility and awareness is key ingredient to their growing maturity.  I often feel that the only word I seem to be able to say is “No”.  My reasoning was often met with eye rolls, stomping feet, or even slammed doors.  How did we end up here?  I had decided long ago to parent with positive words.  Many times I am left with the dreaded response, “Because I said so” or even worse, “Because I am your Mother”.  

Over the years I have found that there is a better way.  One that allows me to say “Yes” to many requests while actually providing limits and building responsibility within my own children.  It takes away the need for the use of no as my response.  It allows my children and teenagers a choice.  What are these magic words?  When asked a question like can I play Nintendo?  I would answer with,  “You can play your video games for 30 minutes when you complete your homework and your chores.”  This statement of yes (with limits) when you complete the required obligation places the choice and responsibility on the child or teen.  They can choose to complete the task at hand to earn the agreed upon reward.  If they choose not to complete it then no reward.  As a parent I must let them learn with natural consequences then.  

However this can help revolutionize communication between Moms (and Dads) and their children.  No longer am I the keeper of the word “No”.  Now my teens and children have the power to be able to have an extra dessert, Doordash diner, play video games and have a sleepover.  All of that occurs when they take out the dog, finish homework, clean up their room, or practice their instrument.  In return we are building positive communication between parent and child.  That is priceless!

If you have more questions or want more information please reach out for a free consultation at www.laurenrandconsulting.com or email at laurenrand7@gmail.com.   There are Parent coaching options as well as learning coaching options available.